I want to ...

  People have been pestering me for a long long time about what i wanted to do with my life. Well here is the first "list" of things I want to do ... some are mere fantasies but for rest I am damn serious!
* I want to get rich. Some people get so rich that they lose all respect for humanity, that’s how rich i want to be *
* I want to take over hell n attempt a failed a military coup in heaven (at least that’s what those guys are going to think ).
* I want to brainwash the pope and The Satan to be my followers and accept me as the Holy saint of atheism and the undisputed atheist pope.
* I want to have a fist fight with Popeye with a "no spinach" clause in place.
* I want to have a tea party with Karl Marx, Mahatma Gandhi, George W. Bush and Osama bin laden where Hitler is serving muffins.
* I want to sing a duet each with Taylor swift( not Beyonce ...take that Kanye west)and Avril lavigne ... But first I want to learn singing.
* I want to fight the Grim reaper under a "no death"  clause!
* I want to be wished "happy birthday" by United Nations where all the Nation's leaders stand up in respect and sing the happy birthday song for me.
* I want to be a scientifically proven an exception to Murphy’s Law.
* I want to run around the globe 10 times, singing nothing but country songs.( I actually tried that once but the library lady threw me out.)
* I want to live forever, so far so good. *
* I want to write a critically acclaimed International best seller book on "how NOT to write a book"
  * ones have been inspired from the internet ....

Kids arent the only one impressionable ! 


Sense of humor

After reading tons of amazing 55 word fictions on dozens of blogs in the blogosphere .This is my first attempt at the same :

Sense of humor
"Have you heard about the new Barack Obama Quarter?"
No ! , why didn't anyone tell me ?
"They had to recall it because his ears kept getting stuck in the vending machines!"
ha! ha! real funny michelle, Good night!
For The president, You sure do lack a sense of humor, Barack, Good night!

 PS - the obama ears joke has been borrowed from the internet, n didnt know who to credit it for ! 

Here is my bus !

        This is the sequel of WHERE IS MY BUS ! (I’ll advice you to read the part 1 before u read this one... believe me I know, I wrote this thing )
        Finally my bus is here (the interesting thing is that it is on time ...wonder what my friend has to say on it )
        All frustrated n upset with that freak stealing my girl n stuff, listening to "where did you sleep last night" by nirvana I get on. I was so angry for a moment I could have punched Mike Tyson (no kidding... I kick ass in Tyson's heavyweight boxing on PS2 )...but the song calmed me down a bit... I get on the long waited bus
        The moment I am in I look around for some empty seat (It’s a long journey and I definitely don’t want to stand my way through it)
        In the process I saw two more hunk freak looking guys (no more hunks for today) sitting (too damn near to each other, if u ask me )...Guys don’t sit like that, no they don’t (may be they are gay...it’s been all coming out of the closet for them after the high court said article 377 isn’t into force anymore) just look at them it’s so obvious(I got no problem with gay people ... I love them, in a non-Gayish way of course! ... it’s like the more they are, more the chances of me getting a decent girlfriend .. Now, lesbians I don’t like... why?..The more they are, higher the odds for me )
        Where was I! Yeah an empty seat!
        There is one by a school kid (little late for a school kid in a bus  ...Shouldn’t he be at school or something ). He has not even taken the window seat (kids these days ..Don’t enjoy the simple things in life...What’s this generation coming to?)
        So I sit down, rest my head on the head-rest n try to get my thoughts together (let’s face it I was upset... at whom? at the girl  ...who else? Superfluous things matter too much to them... )
        After a few minutes the conductor comes n asks where I wanted to go, I tell him n get my ticket. He in turn instead of paying me my change back (ok it was two rupees.. but money is money) gives me two candies instead (I don’t like this candy business ... how would he like it! if I gave him a Cadbury perk n said xyz area pls) But I wasn’t in the mood to react so i take the candies n offer one to the kid.. He takes it (whatever happened to "don’t take candy from strangers" ... maybe I have Mr. goody-2-shoes looks or we have on our hands the "strangers have the best candy" generation  ...Either way...He took the candy) I eat the other one (tasty!) and go back to my thoughts (what are they doing right now? I can bet his hands would be all over those... "Breaks”...You know the drill… break more often if u have a girl sitting behind u ...Google the details, that’s what people seem to be do for everything these day...I say Google will take over the world someday )

        What’s that smell, smells something nice..Hey! The kid's got his Tiffin open (Maggie...yummmmeee!Guilty as charged I am a sucker for Maggie ) ... the kid opens up taken out the fork and starts to gulp it down (whatever happened to manners n sharing... no wonder the kids are getting fatter n fatter these days ..Sharing helps loose calories u knows! Sharing the Maggie with me can save a lot of calories for him  ) ... guess what! he offers some to me (am I thinking too loud ) I decline the offer (what? I got my manners all sorted out...Decline the first offer) ...he offers again n says "try some... it’s nice"... (An advice for all such kids don’t offer something twice to me n say it’s nice  ...coz I will accept )I take a bite! Yummy... (Judging by his face it seems I took more he expected.. what? he offered it to me !) ..he takes his fork puts it back n closes the Tiffin (the look on his face said .. am gonna eat it at home .. you Maggie monger).
        I ignore the kid's expression...n get back to my thinking... And eventually the bus stops...Ah! The bus stop... the kid starts to gather his stuff maybe this is his stop! Look at that another damsel (I am still good on that respecting the women thing) looks she is going to get on this bus... (Common kid hurry up ).... One of the probable gays also gets up to go (so long for the "2 down n couple of million more to go”) kid gets off n so does the guy and the girl is now on board looks at the empty seats (I think I have seen her somewhere)..  She starts walking towards the other guy's empty seat (see I told u all go for the superfluous thing  ... the stereotype of tall dark n handsome  ...what about people like me .. Not so tall not so dark n not so handsome )
        No wait! She was going to get the ticket (why couldn’t she be more like me  ...Sit down the conductor will eventually come for ticket  ...he makes a round once in a while after all  ...That’s his job)
        (Hey she is coming towards me ... yippee! take that stereotype! )
        She comes to me n says hi [oh! Now, I recognize her... She is ******* (I suggest you use a brute-force attack to break this one ), we used to have tuitions together]
        She tells me she is going to the same "somewhere", I was going to (apparently it pays up to have a few mutual friends...Thanks guys)
     n they live happily ever after.  
     PS- Bloggers at large! keep your eyes open  

where is my bus !

I had to go to some place the other day and since I don’t have any personal vehicle I decided to take a bus (I didn’t have any other choice but I’ll still call it My decision.. reflects better on my self-respect you see ! ).On top of everything I had no idea of the timing of the bus all I knew was the number of the bus (courtesy: a friend) I had to take and that it was notorious for being off schedule (courtesy: the same friend  ...its kind off funny that the guy didn’t actually knew the timings of the bus but still knew that it usually ran off schedule). So I reach the bus stand with quite some time to spare. I am standing there with earphones in my ears listening to "Rock n roll damnation" by AC-DC. I have heard this song like hundreds of times n even though it’s quite a good number, I felt like doing something else for a change. Observe around a little bit, eavesdrop someone if I have to(I might even get a blog post out of it) Here is what I observed ;

  •  Your average bus stand
  •  a couple of seats (not much people sitting though)
  •  bus schedule chart (it seemed i had quite some time to wait for my bus ...  and who knows if it plans on keeping its reputation  intact ) ..
  • a young couple (newly married I presume)
  • a hot damsel  (I respect women a lot! I really do  ..but this was definitely a damsel )

  • (who else?)... a duo of father n son (a 30 something man with 6 or 7 or maybe 8 year old kid)

well well well! What do we have? here a guy (better call him a hunk ... almost 6’4”, broad shoulder .. is that a Thunderbird i see him riding .. Yeah definitely hunk material) ... seems like he has eyes for our damsel (back of big-boy ... already taken)...

And a couple of more uninteresting looking people (possibly bloggers ...)

let’s start with the couple so I take random steps towards them (keeping earphones in my ears but music player turned off .. sneaky aren’t I ? )

they keep on talking as if I am no threat to their privacy. Now comfortably standing in their vocal zone (or I thought so) I move my shoulders to some imaginary rhythm assuring them of my indifference towards their conversation. The lady actually seemed upset (no my presence does not cause such emotions in girls) she was more mumbling then actually speaking (speak up lady! I got a potential blog post on my hands here) So I move in a little closer (still acting indifferent to their chat .... they too didn’t seem to care) yeah definitely the lady was upset here are a few sentences i heard out of that mumbling (the man was also mumbling .. speak up buddy be a man) but it isn’t rocket science  to make out the meaning.

"I will leave the house next time she talks like that to me"
"no she always does that"
"but she is my mother"
"we must respect her"
" n who am i a nobody ?"
"its not like that"

(Seemed a couple right out of some daily soap ... call ekta kapoor ... i am not even claiming the reward on this one... )

Oh well the bus is here ... (go people get up on it…  Run… Scram…  Start walking if you are not.. then I am)

Number 6A…  where is my bus? ... Well I am keeping my promise.. Showing as if taking a look at the bus's number I got the hell way from the couple (happy 25th anniversary to you two)...I think a few minutes of blank staring at the damsel might get my mind back on track ... what the hell!! The hunk freak (why would someone want to be that tall anyways).. Seemed to have moved (towards my damsel) good for me that damsel didn’t seem to be interested

Back to the mission.. What’s the father son duo upto ?

at least I won’t have to go stealth like before (an effort wasted i call it) on these guys

here goes nothing ..i move in (making it look like i need to check the schedule again ...i know i am sneaky  )
 ohk! the kid is pestering his dad for a new bicycle the usual words

" no I want it now"
" I’ll get u one on your birthday "
"no .. no birthday "
"all my friends have one n i want one"
"ok will get u one at this month’s payment"

cute kid.... has a good vocal too ... (hear that mumbling man ...that is how men talk...I say the kid deserves the bike just for that good vocal) hey the bus is here ..it was about time anyway... 9C  where is my bus ? ... at least the couple got on it (leave mumblers ... give a thumbs up to the mom-in-law from me) where is the damsel now .. There she is

WTF!... they are talking! ..The freak is talking with my gal!...she seemed a girl with class she cant be interested in some freak like him ... (6'4" .. that’s  like an over grown weed)

No! She wont go with you ... you freak (just look at that freak offering a lift to her)

Where is the freakin bus when u need one... There it is  ... good luck next time big-guy that at is definitely her bus ... "girl’s college” written on the bus that’s definitely hers  ... it has to be

No! She can’t leave with him ... how can she.. think of your parents, our culture, at least think of the annual payment you made for the bus ... money doesn’t grow on the tree does it .. go on leave if you want see if i care... don’t come back to me if something happens)

 She left with the freak!

Where is my God-damn bus! 

Oh there it is! (on time )

-continued with "here is my bus !" -

PS - watch out for potential bloggers