Labels: apple, blackberry, common man, dream, Dumb, exodus, flag, hitler, Indian dream, me, pakistan, satire, time, wars
Hello kids !! Its THAT time of the year again …
What time?? … do you ask !!
It’s the time when we unpack n clean the dust off those little tricolor flags cause it’s the occasion when India resumes its talks with Pakistan again again again ... again
You see India and Pakistan have a history ….. This ‘history’ goes way back … I mean this story is so freakin' old that when it all started … blackberry and apple were nothing but fruits.
What’s the story?? ... u ask ?
You see back in the forties long before himesh reshamiya , Michael Jackson , Beatles and Elvis Presley, when Hitler and the allied forces were beating the shit out of each other (yeah now u see what I meant by OLD) the talks about India’s independence started to actually amount to something. The moment it became clear that the British were leaving, the wolves came in howling, claiming the throne of the nation. Eventually two independent nations; India and Pakistan came into existence n both the PMs were simply ecstatic (a couple of million people died along the way but why cry over spilt milk …. People had the recent holocaust to worry about.. Who would notice the biggest exodus of modern times ). It wasn’t long before they figured that just the throne of the nation is not enough they also needed a summer home just like the British had in shimla … cause believe me it gets hot here in the subcontinent, so they both start looking at kashmir n decide its theirs now. Kashmir’s king had no Idea what was going on and by the time he realized how frustrated a megalomaniac on a power trip can get in the summer heat, he had forces from Pakistan breathing down his neck. So he asks the Indian PM for help and in turn accepted to merge with India. Ever since, India and Pakistan haven’t seen eye to eye. Wars, Espionage, Terrorist attacks, HIV+ girls on the border, u name it and it has already been tried.
So what’s so interesting about this story?
(apart from an animosity that has crossed the better part of a century and loss of millions of lives… )
Well, the interesting part is the ‘tradition’ that this history has given birth to …
What tradition?.. Do you ask!!
The tradition of exchanging gifts and greeting cards.
The people on both sides just love to exchange greeting cards it’s just that they like to call those greeting cards as the nefarious DOSSIERS (the most dread ones are the ones printed with bold and Italic words some even in UPPERCASE). What do they write in those greeting cards … oh sorry … my bad … DOSSIERS … nothing important just things like;
hows it been ??
hows the wife ….. ??
how are the kids ??
hows the neighbor ??
n oh yeah.. you were looking smart in that new black suit standing with Sarah Palin
PS – there was a terrorist attack on us from your side…. nothing big.. Just a couple of hundred ppl died .. if you get the time.. pls look into it … no hurry…. take your time
PPS – I also sent a consignment of mangoes …. Write me back if you want more.
A new black suit – a couple of hundred dollars
A terrorist attack on another nation’s soil – a couple of million dollars
A photo with Sarah Palin - A couple of thousand dollars
A Consignment of mangoes - Another couple of hundred dollars
Brotherly love – Priceless
For everything else: there is a guy waving a small flag looking at the television screen with hope of better future in his eyes.
People tend to call me a pessimist but let me tell you one thing, I am anything but a pessimist , even though it took me two powercuts to finish this piece I still believe in the time tested tradition of ;
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me .. fool me a million times over and you can run my country
PS - My best wishes to our honorable Home Minister, Chidambaram Sir on his current trip to pakistan