Hell can't freeze over


Ever since I made it one of my long term goals to take over hell ... I have been doing some homework on it ... here i am sharing some interesting finds on this amusing topic ;

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question:

Is Hell exothermic (gives of heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? (google people google ! )

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.

I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to hell.

With birth and death rates as they are we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume of Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms.Banyan during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you" and we take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true.

Thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A" given.

taken from here


Top 21 Good Things about Hell

21. None of that annoying check-in procedure like with St. Peter.

20. Due to recent health code changes, vats of boiling brimstone now use low-fat canola oil.

19. Your "Do you smell something burning?" slays 'em, year after year.

18. Plenty of legal help available for filing "wrongful death" lawsuit.

17. Newly passed law: Three strikes and you're back in LA.

16. Satan's confused attempts to torture masochists can be highly entertaining.

15. No need to pack the parka over Bob Dole's election chances.

14. Well, sure, it's hot, but it's a *dry* heat.

13. Free prostate checks and PAP smears administered daily!

12. The surprisingly entertaining "Hitler and Kathie Lee Show."

11. Every Thursday is Karaoke Night, hosted by Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr.

10. Prizes awarded for best crank phone calls to God.

9. Everywhere you look, there's a smoking section!

8. Big step up from Bakersfield.

7. Your little "blue flame" trick now produces spectacular results.

6. Free Microsoft software for everyone (as per agreement made back in early 80's).

5. Now that you've followed her advice, you just might get that date with Cindy Crawford.

4. 52 smmmmmokin' channels of Jim Carrey!

3. Saturday night WWF tag-team bout between Genghis Khan, Vlad the Impaler, and Hitler.

2. Everyone gets a length of pipe and a daily crack at Nancy Kerrigan's knee.

1. Fortune to be made on "Welcome, O.J." t-shirts.


Darshan Chande October 21, 2009 at 6:10 PM

Lol, that's brilliant! I loved the analysis :P

ηανєєη October 21, 2009 at 7:42 PM


science class would have been a whole lot more fun .. if they taught us like that

Avada Kedavra October 22, 2009 at 2:57 AM

Lol.. my favourite is this: ree Microsoft software for everyone (as per agreement made back in early 80's). :)))

Vishnu October 22, 2009 at 1:15 PM

knew the thermodynamic story b4 itself.. thanks for reminding..

rofl@ crank calls to god, free microsoft software, wwf tag team match and o.j shirts..

Shruti October 22, 2009 at 3:47 PM

Hey naveen, will come back 2 read ur post.
Now, Visit my profile :)
Something is waiting for you!

ηανєєη October 22, 2009 at 3:48 PM

I always wondered why Microsoft got so big ... now we know their dirty little secret

I see u have been around ur share of joke threads on the net....
glad u liked the rest ..

Karthik October 23, 2009 at 9:08 AM

It was hilarious man. After reading this post I don't think anyone craves to go to heaven anymore, as everyone will be busy booking tickets to go to hell. :P
Wonderful imagination. Loved it to the core. :-)

ηανєєη October 23, 2009 at 4:14 PM

hell can be quite a get-away this winter ;)

sunil October 25, 2009 at 10:15 AM

Interesting.... but I think there are some fundamental flaws in the argument of the student .so here is a new explanation. Soul is supposed to be a mass less entity, which like light can be understood as energy bundles called photons .

As these energy bundles strike the surface of hell they will be completely absorbed and will get converted to heat . Thus there will be an increase in the temperature of hell. Now due to increase in temperature the radiations coming from hell and reaching the earth will have higher frequency, as we can see the fear of hell is leading to increased fanaticism and pseudo religious societies the theory is having substantial basis to be accepted.

Assumptions: 1.It is assumed that the Young's Modulus of the hell surface is greater than the radiation pressure which may be called a wild estimation considering hell is the ultimate destination of all the souls and the rate of incidence per unit time is likely to be very v high. Anyways, God must have taken care of that by using some perfectly elastic material to prevent the collapse and "HELL BREAKING LOOSE".
2.Some rare souls who were free from the bindings of religion might go to heaven but the percentage is likely to be so small and decay process is so high that this can be safely ignored.

newton did the same mistake in corpuscular theory when he assumed the light made of particles having mass, so it can be concluded that student who did the analysis based on particle theory is likely to have the achievements equivalent to newton so deserves grade "A" on prospective basis.
Biblography: Stephans law for thermal radiations
Wein displacement law
Quantum mechanics

ηανєєη October 25, 2009 at 11:41 AM


thanks for clarifying the other side of the argument .... by assuming souls as mass-less entity.

though i doubt that mass-less entities can be tortured by conventional methods mentioned in the brochures (that each religion claims they got from God)

n it also contradicts with numerous claims of souls/ghosts interfering in people's day to day life.

anyways ... thanks for this alternate explanation on why hell cant freeze over ...
I guess i should ask Satan to call for that air conditioning service now ... :p

vineet October 25, 2009 at 7:36 PM

LOL..hilarious n show how sum1 can thnk dat diffrent...eral good post n i liked the analysis of sunil also..and then ur reply too..beatific

ηανєєη October 25, 2009 at 11:12 PM


thanks ...glad u liked it ...

Anonymous October 26, 2009 at 5:23 PM

what an answer?
surely he deserved an A after that..

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HaRy!! October 30, 2009 at 7:12 PM

now thats wat we are talking abt...cofee in Hell !! second possiblity makes sense... temperature and presure sure will drop!


ηανєєη October 30, 2009 at 10:41 PM

thanks for the kind words ..will think about it

cold coffee in hell ..dats what we are talking about :D

MADHU RAO | (INDImag.COM) October 31, 2009 at 12:22 AM

ROFL, that was intelligently hilarious ; respite from the usual mindless banana-peel slip humor that's abundant on blogs :-)

Meandered in from Blog-a-ton by the way ..

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